Thursday, December 20, 2012

this on-off relationship sucks

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i messaged him to thank him for not deleting his pics in my camera
and to tell him that his pen drive is with our friend
then i went to sleep because i know he will not reply my SMS in the next 1 hour
like he always does and i get used to it already and i am so much tired of it

but at 2.32 am, my hand phone screamed loudly
i just picked it up and pressed the green button
i was so sleepy but when i listened to his voice
my sleepiness went a way very fast

maybe that was the time to know all the truth
we talked for a while but i was afraid that my umi in the toilet might listen
i talked very slowly but still in the silence of the night
the words went out from my mouth very loudly

he hanged up as he thought i don't want to talk to him and i was so frustrated
that was just the time to know everything hidden in every scene
i texted him that if he was willing to tell me all the truth
then he had to call me back and that was just what he did

i was scolded quite severely for my harshness in talking and for my narrow minded thinking
i did not seem to care much because this is just me and i am quite sure i will never change
if mz can accept me the way i am as my best friend, why can't he as my beloved boyfriend
the boy who says that he loves me to the bottom of his heart

yes, i admit that i always jump into conclusion without thinking much
but he always knows what i want from him and yet he can't fulfill it
i a little bit sure that he loves me but there is no reason to continue this on-off relationship
i am so bored of it and i don't think we are gonna make it up again

for sure love only and only love is not enough for a relationship
a mutual understanding is more crucially needed
truthfulness and belief has to be kept in our hearts
not in his heart only but in me too which i don't have it

it is just far from possible to believe him, the one who is not in front of me all the time
who always gets lost contact with me most of the time
i am so not into a long-distance relationship, i really don't
maybe my love to him is not strong enough to believe him who is not all the time with me

we tried so many times and it was hard each time
to the extent that i barely can stand it for each trial
we do love each other but we don't understand each other
and it perhaps shows that everything has to end

the end.


  1. hurrmm..

    lama tak menyinggah nih..

    bila akak menyinggah..
    memula sekali baca cerita sedih sedih cam gini..

    nak komen pun payah..

    sbb k.dyh takde kat tempat muja..

    and i dont know all the story behind kan..

    apa yang akak boleh ckp ..

    utamakan pelajaran..

    cinta pada bf nih kemudian kemudian pikir..

    tunggang terbalik cemana pun dalam bercinta..

    ingat pelajaran..

    nobody can stop you from fall in love , but make sure oce u in love , the love bring you to be better..

  2. tak pe,, still on holiday,, saat melayan jiwang lagi :)

  3. macam main tarik tali plak... jngn la on off... nak serius2... jngn sakit hati plak nti. btul ckp sis hidayah. utamakan pelajarn... kalau lelaki tue syng kita dia mesti faham dngn perangai kita nie. ok..chill

  4. kalau jue sorry la kalau nak on off on off..nampak sgt lar dye hanya nak.main2..dia buat kita macam barang mainan jew..kalau dye cl..just tanya nak ape..jgn layan if dye minx cple blik or what...ingt dye pna kcewakan kita..dye xpnh hargai kita..muja kne trime hkikt yg dia hanya nak main2kn kita..

  5. Udah2 la tue meroyannye...

    Macam biasa, PM je bro

  6. @~S! BuLaT~ masalahnya muja yang salu off kan and dia yang on kan macam mana tu,, muja kah yang salah,, tapi tak tahan la :'(

  7. @Bro Framestone amboi3,,, orang tak meroyan pun,, uwaaaaa :'(

  8. it is really tiring,dealing with a cold heart person..when we voice out our dissatisfactions,they labelled us as not being understanding enough..hmmm..

  9. @myself kan,, bila dia nak je kita kena ada,,, tak mutual walau sedikit :(